Most of the time I successfully masquerade as a responsible adult. I go to work, pay my bills, take care of my family and my house, go to church, and basically do all those things that one would expect a typical married thirty-something to do. And most of the time, I don’t have a problem with that. I’ll admit, sometimes I sincerely wonder how I got to this point in my life, but I like my life. God has been very good to me and mine.
Then are days like today – which is actually the culmination of a whole 2 weeks worth of kinda cruddy days and small disasters that span the full range of lost plugs for water bottles to undone homework and a sink perpetually full of dishes. Life as normal, right? But these are the days that I hear songs on the radio that talk about not being grown up, or escaping to the islands (yup, I’ve been listening to Kenney Chesney this morning), and wow, it just sounds so tempting.
I’ll tell you what – singing stars have it made. Yes, I know that many of them live a totally degenerate lifestyle, and are so whacked out on drugs and booze that they can’t actually enjoy life. But there are those that live on a beach perpetually, or on an isolated ranch, or a beautiful home in the mountains. And they get to go onstage and do what they love best over and over again – and get paid lots and lots of money to do it. It’s the American dream for so many, to have that kind of fame and fortune.
Me? I love to sing – but I don’t think I’d want the fame. I don’t know, God hasn’t blessed me with that. And the money would be nice – but I figure sometimes that God doesn’t bless me with riches because I can’t handle it properly yet. (I’m getting there – the handling part, definitely not the rich part.) But the part I sometimes envy is the ability and opportunity to disappear into their self-made bubbles and sometimes literal islands of privacy and forget the rest of the world exists.
Of course, I know that celebrities don’t actually have much privacy. Even those who aren’t really celebrities per se, just folks with lots of money and power, don’t have privacy, or even peace of mind. How many more worries do they have that I will never have to bother with at all? I think I’ll take mine.
I’ll admit to entertaining thoughts of running away to the islands somewhere, or figuring out a way to be independently wealthy – with an emphasis on the “independently” part – and not have to deal with real life. But even as I write this, I know God is nudging at me. I am where I am for His greater purpose. Even when I can’t see ‘round the next bend, or even the next step. Even when I feel like life spins on around me without my say – God has a plan, and it is a good one. (That’s a Jeremiah 29:11 paraphrase, one of my favorites.) And because He started this good thing, He will complete it, too.
Even when being a grown-up is just a clever disguise….